Charlotte talks about Andy (pictured) to keep his memory alive.
Charlotte rushed to Andy’s bedside, where doctors gave her the news that he would not survive his injuries. Andy died with Charlotte and his parents by his side. He was 29.
The following days and weeks were a blur for Charlotte, but she began to piece together what happened.
Andy was driving home from work near Worksop, Nottinghamshire, with his colleague Shane in the passenger seat. He pulled out at a junction onto the A60 when a car approaching from the right crashed into his van, hitting the driver’s side.
Shane was badly hurt and suffered a ruptured spleen. Four other people were also injured, but Andy bore the brunt of the impact. Specialist investigators found that Andy had stopped at the junction for around 20 seconds – long enough to assess whether it was safe to pull out. The crash was ruled a no-fault incident.
Charlotte found comfort in the fact that nobody was to blame for Andy’s death, but losing her partner and best friend while she was in her twenties shattered her life into pieces.
The police family liaison officer referred Charlotte to Brake’s National Road Victim Service, and she was assigned a caseworker to support her.
“My whole world was falling apart. Being so young and losing the person you’re supposed to have a whole future with is so isolating. I’ve never felt loneliness like it,” Charlotte says. “When I met Vicky, my caseworker, I realised there are people out there who understand what this feels like. I can’t begin to explain just how much Vicky helped me.”
When Andy died, I had a great support system around me, but everyone was worried about upsetting me and didn’t know how to talk to me. My Brake caseworker Vicky wasn’t fazed; she told me I had to go through the motions.
As well as being there through the grief, Vicky was able to guide Charlotte through the many practical aspects of dealing with a road death – like explaining what’s involved in an inquest and helping to decipher all the legal jargon. Charlotte was unable to work, so Vicky helped her to access some financial support, which meant she could stay living in the house she and Andy had bought together and loved.
Brake’s National Road Victim Service caseworkers, like Vicky, are trained to deliver specialist support to people seriously injured and bereaved by collisions. “That experience in supporting road crash victims with that very particular trauma is so important,” Charlotte says.
“I felt scared and small, and I didn’t know what was happening or why. Vicky told me it was all normal. She has seen it all before, so nothing surprised her and there was no judgement. Talking to her was the easiest thing in the world.”
Charlotte now plans to train to become a counsellor so she can help people, just as Vicky has helped her. For now, she is learning to come to terms with her new normal and taking steps to rebuild her life, knowing Andy would be behind her all the way.
“Talking about Andy and remembering him fondly is keeping his memory alive. I have so many photos of him everywhere in our house, so I see him all the time. It’s like he is always here.”